Awkward Salmon

This short nugget comes from an undisclosed source, but its too good not to share.

While a male teacher, who happens to be wearing shorts, is facilitating, a young girl walks up behind him, places her hand between his lower thighs and flaps it back and forth.  Smacking both of his thighs.  While performing this task she yells "AWKWARD SALMON!"

Awkward Salmon...

PS.  for those with more interest in the Awkward Salmon.  go here...

Parent Drama!!

You know you're in the mood for a drama story that involves parents!!  This one promises to deliver.

Yesterday, on day 1 of Musical Showcase: Broadway's Best of the 21st Century, a child made a not-mean-intention-ed but inappropriate comment about the new Annie movie ("Yeah, but they cast some black chick as Annie. That's not going to work, she won't have red hair and freckles.").  Our instructor addressed the concept of multi-racial casting in response.  First thing this morning, I get an email from one of the camper's mothers (the camper is a friend of said commentator) saying her daughter, although liking the group and the instructors, felt that the way the incident was dealt with was blown out of proportion. She is upset and withdrawing from camp. I sent this in response:

Hi .......t,

I'm very disappointed to hear this. I'm wondering if ..........did not accurately relay the events of yesterday.   A student in her group said, "Can you believe a black chick is playing Annie in the movie?" and then went on to express that she thought an all-black Annie was a bad idea.  While this comment may not have been said with mean intent, it was absolutely something that needed to be addressed.  The teacher didn't bring up the actual comment but did address the cast about "rainbow" or multi-racial casting.  I can assure you it was addressed quickly, in a very level headed manner, and was witnessed by a full time staff member, who agreed that the comment needed to be addressed in order to make sure everyone in the company felt safe and respected.  

We very surprised upon hearing the news of this email. I would hope that you would feel very positive about a camp which is run by instructors who promote acceptance, ensemble, and do not tolerate disrespectful comments, however innocent the kids may think that comment was.

I would  encourage ......... to confront this issue, rather than quitting it.  We would be happy to discuss the situation with you and .........before camp today to help her (and you) contextualize the incident.  I would also encourage you to remember that all stories have three sides to them, and it's important to get a clear picture of what happened before making a decision as big as this one.  

Nikki

I mean, maybe throwing away two weeks commitment and $800 isn't a big decision....

Also, this is the response you get at 8:30 in the morning before coffee.

Just a few minutes after this email, I got an email from the parent of this camper's friend, the one who made the insensitive comment.  They discussed it last night and how it could make others uncomfortable and she felt bad about it.  She thought it was a good lesson for her to learn and is hoping today goes more smoothly.  I told her that we would give her some extra TLC to send the message to her (and the rest of the kids) that you can fuck up sometimes and we'll still love you.

Interesting that the parent of the child who made a mistake is fine, even grateful, for our response, but a parent of a bystander camper (who is hearing the story third hand) is withdrawing after one day.  

Fascinating, right?

S-words

So I am back after vacation, changing jobs and just keeping my head above water for a couple weeks.

Just a short anecdote: Today a parent pulled their kid from camp because there wasn't enough sword fighting.  She suggested letting the students bring their swords from home and play swords during camp.

Percy Jackson Camps are the BEST!

And yes that's the master sword from Zelda...

The Wisdom of Youth

Overheard exchange in the Ladies Room this morning...

Camper A: When I grow up, I’m going to be single with a bunch of kids.  I’m going to adopt.  I’m going to do it myself…no husband or nothin’!

Camper B: Why?..

Camper A: Because husband means pregnant.  And I’m never getting pregnant.

Note that this conversation was proceeded by a discussion of how to play the game “Bloody Mary” which led to a comment about a mom who apparently makes great Bloody Mary’s, which led to a comment that another mom drinks Bloody Mary’s, which led to a comment that yet another mom has never been drunk.

Based on the sequence, there may or may not have been a synaptic jump that Bloody Mary's lead to pregnancy....

Quotes of the Week....

Wed, July 2

In Once Upon a Time Camp, we are exploring CLICK, CLACK MOO. We are playing "Farmer Says," a version of Simon Says that involves a handkerchief.

Student A (the one who loved salad from earlier, feeling poetical): Farmer Says blossom like a flower. Farmer Says flap your wings and fly like a bird. Farmer Says grow like a tree.

Student B (during his turn, later, the one who thinks salad is adult from earlier, feeling bold): Farmer Says walk out of the classroom door. Farmer Says take off one of your shoes. Farmer Says try to walk around the room with only one shoe on....

Did I mention that Student A and Student B are cousins?

Thurs, July 3 (or as we called it, Thriday)

At the beginning of the day, the check-in table:

Ms. Tracy (camp manager of excellence): Good morning, C.

C (4 years old): [Gives a big yawn and stretch]

Ms. Tracy: Oh, C, are you tired this morning?

C: (sleepily): Yeah, I pah-tied really hard last night?

Ms. Tracy: What's that? You partied really hard?

C: No, I pottied. I had to get up and go to the potty and I didn't get any sleep.

Zoology Musing of the Day

Discussion in the 3rd-5th grade drama camp:

Student: Do you think if people were cats, doctors would think they were overweight?
Miss M: Um...I don't know (name of student), what do you think?
Student: I think so.  Because people weigh so much more than cats!

Bad words

A student was sent to talk to me because he "said the 'F' word, and called someone the 'B' word, and also an 'A' hole."

When confronted the student pointed out that he actually only said "F" and "B" and "A".  The letters not the whole words.  Tricky...

Editorials from 4s and 5s...

First Day of "Once Upon a Time" Camp with 4 and 5 year olds....

Playing "Cross the Room If" (after 4-5 questions)
Me: Cross the Room if you like salad!
A (with confidence as he crosses): Oh yeah! That is totally my question! 
B (at the same time, sighing, with a slightly resigned note): Salad? Oh, we've gotten to the adult questions now....

Playing "Keeper of the Keys" (or "Dragon's Gold")
Setup: I am in the middle of the room "sleeping" on two chairs and underneath me are my car keys as the "treasure," tied to a long ribbon. Students are hovering behind an arbitrary tape line I've put on the floor waiting for me to fall asleep...) 
Me (as "keeper" after about 8 attempts): I hear jinkling! I am waking up!
(students shriek with delight)
C: You know, you should totally choose another item for the treasure. Those keys make too much noise....

Shakespeare Swagger

It's the final sharing day for Shakespeare Stories (3rd - 5th graders), and Miss M is doing a "hot seat" activity with different characters.  One young man takes center stage as Bottom, and as he swaggers to the chair to sit down, he is gesturing to the crowd with his hands in a "bring on the praise" manner, a la Kanye. After answering a few questions in character about his general awesomeness, Miss M takes the last question from the group....

Classmate: "[Bottom], why are you so annoying?"
Bottom: "I'm not annoying.  I'm just boss."

And scene.

Like with a Wand

Last week, Wednesday, a boy came to the office complaining of a headache. We let him lull about. Called mom. She basically said he's faking it and he should tough it out (oh and she had decided on a whim last Friday to sign him up for theatre camp without consulting him when really he is a stay-at-home-video-game-kind-of-kid). We finally got him back in class, grudgingly. 

This morning, he shows up at check in and I was all like: " Good morning!" (meaning: "Whoa! I didn't expect to ever see you againl"). And he kind of smiled and said: "I'm here for vampires," and I was like: "Cool" (meaning: "oh god I hope I don't have a week of you in my office with headaches").

Fast forward to check out this afternoon where kids were talking about the play they were writing and we asked: "Are you a vampire, too?" (meaning: oh man, I hope you had a good day) and he grinned, ear-to-ear, and announced: "Nope. I'm a fairy. Like with a wand." And he was genuinely happy.

PS He's in 8th grade.

Compliment Circle (of food)

Transcripts from the post-lunch compliment circle Thursday 6/19/14:
Me: Does any one have any compliments to give their classmates about the first part of the day?
A: Z shared his Kool-Aid with me.
Me: Ok, well, technically, StageOne has a no-food-sharing-policy, but the sentiment was very nice.
B: X shared his candy with me....X, was it a reese's cup?
X: (sensing danger or guilt)....I don't think so....
Me: Well, StageOne is definitely peanut free, so NEVER bring a reese's OR share it, but, I guess it's the thought that counts.
C: Can I say something nice about myself?
Me: Well, Not really. Compliment circle is about compliments for other people.
C: But I did something really nice! Oh, well... Today, Y gave one Skittle to everyone in class, just like yesterday!
Y: (with adorable speech impediment, shrugging) I have a really big bag.
Me: OK, so tomorrow we are looking for compliments that are NOT related to food.
(blank stares from all)

Brushing off my top hat....

This morning, we had a new set of flex camps kick off.  One of our 3rd - 5th grade returning campers arrived in a tux--black pants, black jacket, white shirt, and black bow tie.  When one of our staff commented to him on how dapper he looked he replied, "I was going to wear a top hat and bring a cane.  But mom said that might be a bit much..."

Student Art #1

Title: Fish
Artist: 5 year old
Medium: paper and markers

900

In a last day sharing: Mushroom Ogres (mogres) dancing around a money tree designed by students. The Money Tree displays its amount, 900. But these are 5 year olds. The 9 is backwards. Looking much like a "P." You can figure the rest out.

Insult of the Day

"You are a baby clam in your crib who isn't even grown yet!"

"You are a drop of water. You can't do anything but sit there."

The Other Man of Steel

This...

Super M(name of camper)

Production Chat

When prepping students to move into our 100 year old theater, I have to lay down the law.  No touching this or that, don't be anywhere but where you are supposed to be.  Ya know.. the usual man heart-ed Camp Manager stuff.

"... And if you do any of this what will happen?"

"YOU'LL NOT BE IN THE SHOW" the returners chanted back to me in unison.

I've taught them so well!

Mini-Me

Casting for our camp happened on Tuesday morning. My mini-me (so decreed when she first walked into camp three years ago) presented me with an acrostic poem she had written the night before about casting. Because of course she did. Because this is exactly what I would have done when I was nine years old.

The poem:

You shouldn't care what part you get. They're all so
Outstanding. None are bad. No need to be sad or an
Ugly sport. You are happy. You are now
Responsible for making them come alive.

Please don't parade your lines, dances, and songs
And you will have such a
Really amazing, fun, wonderful, laughter filled
Terrific time!

She's playing the Ugly Duckling.

The Best of the Best

We provide an Actor Bio sheet for all our actors to fill out. One of the questions asks: What role would you most like to have, considering that we cannot guarantee you will get the role of your choice, many kids at camp, blah, blah, blah.

One of our veteran, sweet-as-pie, boys wrote on his sheet:

Whatever role you cast me in.

Sigh.  You can't beat that attitude.  My indoctrination tactics have worked, wha-ha-ha!!

The Non-Traditional Family

This summer, my 2nd-4th graders are doing The Real Story of the Ugly Duckling, which instead of being about looking weird is about what makes a family. (Spoiler alert: Ursula Divine, the Ugly Duckling, realizes that even though she might really be a swan, the ducks raised her and love her, so that makes them a family.)

Two days into rehearsal, the boy playing Rothbart the Daddy Swan realizes that there is an actual girl playing Petra the Mama Swan. The following conversation happens.

ROTHBART: Do we have to be married?
ME: What do you mean?
PETRA: Do we have to, like, marry each other?
ME: Well, you have a family, right? Three swan kids?
ROTHBART & PETRA: Yeah...
ME: So, you can either be married, or you can just be two swans who like each other and are raising a family together.
ROTHBART & PETRA: (without a moment's hesitation) Yeah! We'll do that one!
PETRA: As long as we don't have to be married.

I think they've got the "all families are different" idea.

Diggin' in the Trash

As a student walks into camp this morning, he grabs some trash out of his car and goes to throw it into the garbage can in front of our building.  This is a public garbage can, monthly cleaned by the city, frequented by people looking for something to eat, and full of a massive amount of germs.

Now this student instead of throwing the trash away throws his brand new pristine white iPhone 5S in the garbage can.  He then looks at me.  looks back into the trash... looks back at me and says, nonchalantly, "I threw my phone in there."  To which i respond, "well... what should we do?"  Blank Face.

I take off the cover of the trash can and I am going to grab for it, but he dives into the garbage can, leaning over to scrabble his fingers along the bottom to get the phone...

Again, I repeat this during drop off. So just realize there are 20 parents watching this happen.  Watching me force a child to get his phone out of a trashcan.

"Now wash your hands" I said as he walked into camp.

Turn Around...

Overheard at lunch: seven late elementary/early middle school boys singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

My work here is done.

Camp Manager of the Year! A play by Chad Dike

Scene 1:

Student enters office, escorted by counselor.

Counselor: Jimmy had a little disagreement with Valeria.

Manager: Oh? (looks at Jimmy)

Jimmy: No... Well... She was cheating at freeze dance.

M: (to counselor) Thanks. (to Jimmy) What happened?

J: Well... (25 minute story that included bad referees, other kids pushing him, the phrase "I was just so mad at her I stuck my tongue out at her" and wiping the biggest booger on his own shirt sleeve.)

M: Umm.... Use a tissue Jimmy.

End of Play

Welcome

This is a blog for all of us... anyone who has written an email to a parent detailing the accident their student had at camp, anyone who has emptied a trashcan for a missing item, anyone who has said No to a student's request to go to the bathroom or anyone who is tired of the statement "Oh, you work at Drama camp, that must be so FUN!"

Put your stories up here. If you want to post, just message me and I'll add you.  Cause lets face it, drama camp, is filled with drama and we all love/hate it.